unhalofandomcom-20200214-history
Prometheans
Prometheans are the result of an experiment by the Forerunners to stuff the brains of a human up the ass into the armour of a hunter that trys to hug Chuck Norris in Halo 4. Seriously, did the Forerunner get so pissed at Master Chief tearing off Sentinel Quadlazers that they started attacking? There are eight varieties of Promethean, which is so close yet so far for a 7 reference. They are very varied in type, but they all have one thing in common; They seriously mess you up on Legendary. Crawlers These are things that the Prometheans use as the 'equivalent' of Grunts and are also Halo's equivalent to Gollum, but seem to be good at staying alive and horrible at having fun. They also can ram into you and destroy you, making them a bad enemy to be hugged by. There are three distinct ranks to a crawler, each looking more vicious than before. Crawler (standard) Usually equipped with a Zapper, these are your common crawler. They don't look much, and really aren't. Crawler Sniper They stand a mile away with Promethean Vision and a Triforce Gun. Bad enemy to encounter, really annoying. Crawler Prime A heavily-armored vicious apex predator with a Yellow Light Spammer. But ironically the 3rd weakest of the Prometheans. Boomboxes Watchers A robot with two circles that resists fire and carries a Zapper. If you want to destroy the Knights, destroy this first. Don't try to throw balls at it either, they will get caught in the boomboxe's watcher's shaft Knights Extremely strong, regenerate, teleport, and hump you to death with one hit. It is recommended to save your power weapons for these guys. They appear in orange and azure variants, but color doesn't matter when they are supersonic Z-targeting you. Knight (standard) Extremely strong niggers that supersonic charge you. Can carry a LightRifle, but usually carries just a suppressor. They are extremely efficient at killing. This is even just the normal variant. Knight Lancer Uses the demon-vision to see through the entire map and carries a LightRifle, and it also charges. Well, it could be worse... Looks almost exactly the same as a normal Knight. Knight Commander A knight in shing armour. Will viking burial you with it's Pwnee Cannon. If you pwn one, grab it's weapon. It just rocks. Knight Battlewagon A phoenix with a Scattershot and a shield that can survive a nuclear bomb let alone an assault rifle. Alliance with the Covenant The prometheans attempted to make an alliance with the covenant and unfortunately a wort wort was there to make it (wort is promethean for yes) and all the grunts were mediating on their gruntiness. They have Gruntiness!!! Although in small quantities, this allows them to hold da pawnee cannon. assassinations If you assassinate a crawler it goes into this wierd sex scene where u give the crawler surprize buttsecks and f--k it to death. If you assassinate a knight you do that little trick where u tap him on one shoulder , but u r on his other side so he turns the wrong way and you stab him with his own blue blade thingy. Then it yells GLORBBBBBOBIBOKEKEKEKEOOOOOOOO (Translation) OMGWTFHAXORSUXORFUXORGAYFAKEFAKEANDGAY dies* Who leads them now? The leader of the Prometheans IS....the fucking nigger slaves What they actually do in Spartan Ops... Don't listen to Sarah PalmCoaster, the Promtheans are really in Spartan Ops to get more Screen-Time. The Prometheans also want to be blue again and our *cough* top scient*barfs*ists are working on-*barfs out a cannon* This is a quote from a Promethean named the WelcomeToGruntipedia(Yes thats its name) "I dont like being like them, those Orange FILTHS!" Known Prometheans Adaam(first Promethean) EVE (second Promethean) Titan AD (prototype Promethean) Daleks (Prototype Crawlers) Cyber-Men (Prototype Knights) Machines (MvM) Arbitar (Promethean arbiter) The Meta (Honorary Promethean) Sangheili WelcomeToGruntipedia (Honorary Promethean) Various Derps The Didact (Old Leader) Unknown Forerunner Construct (Halo 5 teaser) Yan-maae (Promethean Drone) Mecha-Godzilla 1-3 Atlas P-body GLaDOS Wheatley Various Cores These guys This Douche Justan Biber (The Mortal Enemy of Justin Beaver) Maroon Vive Megan Fox THis Megatron Transformers Kwarsh J'Suz Kusov Mark Walhberg Channing Tatum Devil Gundam Every non-piloted Gundam and mech Things EVERY ROBOT EVER IN EXISTENCE! PrometheanSnake (some fig on Xbone) ??? Category:Forerunner Category:Things that kick ass Category:Shit people complain about Category:Halo 4